Author, counsellor, and family coach Reverend Catherine Onwioduokit aka Mama Cathy has shared professional tips to help individuals get over heartbreaks from an ended relationship.
Speaking on Joy FM’s Super Morning Show, she said persons who invest more in relationships suffer most after breakups hence the need to follow these steps;
- Take stock and take control of your mind.
She explained that heartbreak can be shattering hence the need for individuals to be circumspect of their next step after a heartbreak.
“Take control of your mind. Ask yourself what went wrong, what to do next and how best to handle relationship after that,” she said.
- Learn to let go
The counsellor stated that “not every heartbreak is evil”. She advised that victims of heartbreak must be sure to let go of the hurt that come with their loss. According to her, some people come into relationships without a long term goal.
This affects their attitude towards their partners. This may not be obvious as one may be unaware of their intentions.
“Let go because the person may have come because of whatever interest the person had,” she noted.
- Focus on the positives of your life and that of the relationship
Reverend Onwioduokit stated that counselled that people must be optimistic about their outlook on life while healing from the past hurt. She noted that this aids one to prepare for the next relationship after complete healing.
She said; “If your heart is broken and you are not fully healed and you but you want to prove a point to the person who broke your heart by entering another relationship, there is a high possibility that you are going to end up hitting the rocks.”
- Don’t bottle up your feelings
People who have just come out of their relationships must be ready to communicate how they feel. This helps to relieve the tension and negative emotions that one may be battling.
“Bottled emotion is what sends people to psychiatric hospitals and makes people come to a place where they say they will never be transparent, honest faithful or sexual,” Mama Cathy said
She advised that people get accountability partners to help them in their detachment process. These people help to keep you on track and give an illumination on how best to get out of that dark place.
- Minimise bad habits
Reverend Onwioduokit stressed that people who have been dumped must refrain from picking up harmful habits post-breakup.
According to her, this gives the other person the opportunity to use it against them.
She further advised that religious people must trust God to help them heal from the hurt they may experience.
- Invest in the best of you
“Once the break up sets in, what happens in there is a stress hormone that is released. It takes it’s time to bring that broken to a place where they can sit for a gradual healing process to take course,” she stated.
However, she advised against obsessive stalking behaviours which are common of individuals that have been dumped.
Although it may be natural, it leads to negative behaviours such as cynicism.
Instead, she advised people to take up activities that keeps them sane.
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